Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Challenges we're faced with...

Well, some of you knew about this and some didn't, so since this is also kind of a journal/documentary place for me too, I thought I'd share the recent happenings in our family, unpleasant as they may seem! About a month ago, I discovered we were expecting again! Yay...first try after the D&C. So, my doctor is super wonderful and scheduled me for early blood testing and an early ultrasound at 6 weeks. That was last Wednesday and I was very pleased to see a heartbeat of 125bpm! But I noticed the picture looked a bit strange and questioned the technician about it. She said I had a subchorionic bleed. So, of course anything with the word "bleed" in it with pregnancy scares the crap out of me, so she went and talked with my doctor and they chose to do some progesterone testing. I found out my progesterone had dropped and starting taking supplements, but when I went in for another test on Monday, my doctor offered to squeeze me in for a quick ultrasound. Unfortuately, the baby had not grown any since last time and the heartbeat was no longer present. So, needless to say, we were very sad. I'm just waiting for my body to do it's thing because I'm worried this might have been caused by getting pregnant too soon after the D&C and don't want to get another one so soon. But I know the Lord has a plan for us, even though I might not understand what that is sometimes. I really feel like we have more children waiting in the wings to join our family, but either timing or things with my body were off! So, better luck next time, I guess! I've been reading a very good book my mother-in-law picked up for me from Deseret Book called "Fertile in our Faith." That has given me a very positive outlook! Anyone going through this or infertility should read it...it's awesome!

4 comments:

Whitney said...

Holls! I am so sorry! Sometimes we never know why things happen, but youare absolutely right, you will be blessed with more children. I just know it! you are one amazing mommy! I hope you know that i am always here for you! even if i am 400 miles away! i love you so much. Keep this positive attitude! I love you!

Tiffani said...

Hey Holly, its Tiffani (Bleazard) Benson.
So sorry to hear about your loss. We lost 2 pregnancies between our boys. What a heartache. I hope you don't have to have another D&C. I just posted a link on my blog to a story about a mother's trials with pregnancy. You might check it out. I loved it.

Jason and Danielle said...

The link your friend Tiffani listed there, well I went to it and read that story and oh my heck. What an amazing article and spiritual experience. You need to read it. I totally think of motherhood/pregnancy in a completely different way

Meg said...

I am so aorry! You will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers. There are surely more kiddos for you and your sweet husband, your the greatest parents ever! We will miss you!